Accepting where you are in your 20’s when everyone around us is doing different things can be such a challenge. I’ve had a handful of readers reach out and ask the steps I take to being confident in where I currently am, so I thought I would share. As many of us are in our early-mid twenties, just trying to figure out how to be an adult.
Outfit details: Zara Sweater, Anthropologie Scarf (old-similar), Shorts (Old J Crew-Similar), Sandals, Totebag
Originally it stumped me. I didn’t know exactly how I was going to answer the question. To be honest, at first, I felt silly answering it because, in my head, all I could think was “Hmm, I don’t know, I’m just happy”. But, I took a step back and really wanted to think about the little things that keep me joyful in this world full of comparison.
First off, some comparison is healthy! At least I think so. Comparing yourself to others allows you to be competitive and hold yourself to higher standards. However, too much of that is dangerous. I think that is the scary line so many people cross. It is easy to get so caught up in someone else’s successes, that you forget what successes you really want.
For me, these are some of the things I do to find comfort in my current stage of life!
1
Set My Own Long Term Goals
This is HUGE. I have certain things I want to achieve in the next year, in the next 5 and in the next 10. Holding myself accountable to those tasks helps keep me on my own path, rather than craving someone else’s. Make a timeline that fits where you currently are and where you want to be.
2
Set My Own Short Term Goals
Whether it’s working out every morning, trying to shoot blog content twice a week or eating for nutrients, I try and focus on the little goals that will help the big goals. These are the little every day things that make you go to sleep at night a lot more satisfied. If I can crawl in bed knowing I worked out, ate well, took care of my skin, finished most of my work, and checked in with my family, I will be a lot more content.
3
Take Care Of Yourself
This is a very, very, very, important one for me. I have never really been a big comparison person. But, whenever I fall behind on taking care of my body, it’s the easiest way to desire what someone else has. One thing I have learned is that I want the lifestyle more than the immediate results. I never learned that until I started working out a lot more and eating healthier. When I can fall asleep knowing I worked to take care of myself that day, I have no desire to ever compare my body to others’.
4
Know That Everyone’s Paths Are Different
This is REALLY HARD. I know. But, it’s also so important. Everyone’s 20’s look so different. How boring would it be if we were all on the same path? For example, my older sister lives at home and it is perfect for her right now. She’s able to save up so much money and do so many fun things with my family because of it. For me, I moved to the beach, but I miss out on all the family time and spend a lot more money. Sometimes she wishes she was here and sometimes I wish I was there. Do I wish were on the same path? Totally, because then we would be roommates, ha. But, I know our journeys are designed differently to cater to what both of us are supposed to be doing! Some friends are married, some have kids, some are at home, some have moved, but as long as we are all working to our own goals, that’s what matters.
5
Focus On What Will Make You Happy Rather Than What Is Making Others Happy
When I first typed that, I was like, woah Rach, that sounds really self-centered. But I think when it comes to finding joy where you are, you have to realize that sometimes the other life that you look at and wish you had, wouldn’t actually make you happy right now. People tell Russ and I all the time that we should live together and that it’s working so well for their relationship. It’s so easy to get sucked into the trap of what works for other people. But, once I take a step back I always remember that’s not what we want and not what we need right now.
At the end of the day, I think the biggest advice I have is to always work to move forward! Whether it’s working to a promotion, moving into your own apartment, getting married, start dating, getting in shape, or finding friends or a church in your new town, just make sure you keep trying. That’s the most important part of accepting where you are in your 20’s.
